I have friends. Which i’ve known them for 6 years. Three of us always together especially in school. Although it was three of us, A,B and C. i’m the C one. B is consider the smartest among us. Two of them always stick together. Sometimes i doubt myself “am i their friends?”. I kept this question until this day. Last year we sat on examination before entering the university. My class usually ends at 5pm. After that i went straight back home. For a couple of week, i am clueless about what is going on. One day, in class, i heard A said to B: Hey don’t forget this evening. we’re going to learn Chemistry! I kept my mouth shut even though i want to know about it. Later i found out, both of them did the study group. A week later, when i tried to ask B where is she going after class. B replied to A’s home. A asked B to teach her privately. After a few weeks, they started to study in class after 5 pm. Suddenly, two boys which are my classmates joined them. I know sometimes they did study, but usually they will share/ talk about their secret. Every morning, i will hear them talking about yesterday’s event. A’ had a crush on someone. She didn’t tell me. But B knows. Two other boys know. Although the boys originally not her bestfriends, they know everything that i don’t know. I heard the conversation because i sat beside one of the boys. I didn’t response. Everyday, they will gossip about something without me. I have feeling/instinct and my instinct was right. They have a group 4 of them. I knew it because I accidently saw a notifications on my friends phone when she was not around. You know how i feel? I feel betrayed. I feel like they broke my trust. Thanks to them, i don’t trust them anymore. —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————– Fast forward, finally we’re a university students. But we’re not in the same Uni. After school days, A and B are still in touch together with 2 boys i mentioned earlier. I tried my best to distance myself from them. I don’t contact them. One day, B texted me, she asked me whether i want to join them hang out or not. 4 of them including A, B, 2 boys and another 1boy which the 2 boys friend. They planned to go to this specific place. Unfortunately, the ticket is for three. I wonder, am i the last options? This is not the first time. This is the second time i feel like im being the last options. Btw You can feel when someone is not welcoming you. That’s what i usually feel when i’m with A. —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————– I hate this situations. I can’t help but being ovethinking almost every seconds. I want to focus on my class too. Im tired. I want to leave without them knowing the reason why. I don’t have any options. I hate it I hate it soo much. I can’t do this anymore.