SHAME –
I want you to remeber the way you treat me infront of powerfull people and that i cheat you and everyone questioning me without see my story and what i know about what happen since then. This is emberasing moment for me as woman 1st you wont touch me since i betray you and how you avoid to see me.u reveal your honesty that day i realize someting. who i am now ?how i bring my self?how i dress up?how i bring my self and my how my heart feel about you since day 2 im with you.day by day u become real you and avoiding me makes me wonder how bad is me my ugly body and my pore skin my black knee arpit and extra skin vigina person.im broken not fresh and lacknof self confidence and always sad and cry. Because lack of romance and  time.i become wild and crazy.i should told you that night i meet him and confess my friend say he likes me and ask me to leave you or will tell my family and my x husband family that i become someone side keep.with out marry me you just can be free and cheat your wife and ask me to take care your everyting and pay me some amount .oh this is what really hapend when i meet him.i never put you down even once i will always said i respect this men he is like god to me he save me from my suffer .he give me place to stay and he also islam like me.(only this i reveal omg)then botak ask oh easy la u to marry him and use him.i know u stay this big place he must be paid u so much right?u sell body ah ?i reply stupid bald guy u listen to me i never love u and run.only u feel this way its 1 night stand only no romance propose or love promice u know what hapoen and now u telling me difrent story.im not memory lost after with you i go to jb and stay there 2 year and find job for my own self and pay my debt…i never call u for help and seks ok! I dnt have place to go and family said after divorce dont stay in cheras and emberasing  family.so many thing happend.no one is there when i need and suffer.i never expect you to help me this big .i thought u are simple men driver and i want ask job only.then i change my.mind after i saw your level.i dont want ask job or money.i dnt want take advantage and people will talk bad about me if i borrow your money and i dont ever ask money to men also.i borrow from malar and neil money sister in jb and selling my own used prelove by online and also i ask advance from zouk .i need pay hostel money amd grab and buy office clothes.all i manage in my way.and u start to give me money and seks but i saw love i really craving your attention baby i know we make deal about no mariage in this relationship.but i think abother crazy idea i want a child from you and live my family life with my child.i dream about my life like this bcoz i know no men can live with me im heart broken 3 times and now u are the honest person who tell me in 1 week we hangout amd we already acept each other to live like this.i cant ask more just love romance money seks and your time.baby i made big mistake by spoiling your name  by his action towards you and me .how ur your prestige now when i sit beside you.i make things worst .u are  gentlemen and standard have pride as a royal family background.now what will people talk and do how they will respect you without ask omg what happend why your girl dis this mistake?and sure they ask u to.leave me.i understad this.i willing to face it and go far if u wont forgive me.how come i do such thing.whore and evil girl.im not a woman with family dream.im just a girl want boyfriend make love sleel togeter bath eat and do blow job right? I repeat my teenage raj story and aloud him use me. And give them to take advantage and do forget how lonely i am desperate for touch care fake promise and real romance .i already breake my promice to my self and i hate my soul for this movement.i want take revenge by date this dumb guy and see how he treat me and i do comparison how baby treat me and i realize your honesty and geneousity and love vibration when im beside you i control my affection ,feeling hug u tight kiss while sit in ur tight do romance seks..my pasion drive me crazy and lead me to that hell now i lost me.i saw my face in mirror and  i hate me. Day by day i been blackmailed by botak about our friendship and he want take me and marry me give me family life and force me go india and change my religion for him .i never ask him to marry me or love me.i was stupid and slept with him bcoz of my stupid seks drive feeling i keep for mk baby.serious 1 situation in2018 u reject my offer when i kiss u and u push me away and said i am not respect him when you drunk and take seks advntage.and u stad from bed and chage choths u said want go back,*i dont like this attitude and u never respect me and leave me to sleel im tired and want sleep.we do morning seks, now sleep or i go back.then i beging you baby really i broken heart .u say its becouse u drunk i dont like your attitude.sorry ye then we sleep i scared to  hold you or never lay down in your shoulder.since then my i remeber and pretend like i dont have feeling and treat you as u like baby.i cook we eat u rest and go back to ofc and saturday sunday we go out and i have this feeling and waiting  u to kiss me and do it.no need romance ,level just want make you haooy as your wish .in out and finish u done and wash.im just a hole cant ask romance or satisfy. nom u accept me backbut u never forgive. u bring up what that guy tell u. all negative my feelings hurt daily. i stay at home even not mco. bcoz I want he to trust me. 😞but no, swear here i dnt go out or chat wth anyone. i just keep hunting u. i hope u understand my love. i dnt betray u for sex wth other men. i did it because u did it every time u go ever sea.i know im not ur wife. u cheat her also.. but i want u to listen talk to me heart to heart. if u dnt want me. u just want pay my bill rm2500. i never take more or any material things. i dnt hv car or house. u treat me different that other girl at overseas n ur 2 wife. i know im stupid to love u. i can live poor iam simple person i can work n do what i do now. i am ready if u want push me away….. 😢but god my sayang here is true my heart not cruel im not. i hope he realise atlist respect me as girl not. prostitute. im not that im not. i hv to tell here im so hurt. i just want this. enough. i know he don’t trust me anymore. but i want him to understand my heart. 😢.