WHY? –
I don’t know how to start. But I’ll try to make it simple. I’ve been jobless for almost 7 months since I graduated. I live with my parents and my second brother. My parents are already old since I’m the youngest among my siblings. My eldest brother has two sons and both are still a toddler. He and his wife usually sent their kids to my parent’s house when they go to work (but his eldest son A, always talking back to my mom and argue with a high voice like he doesn’t like my mom. My brother knows about this but he doesn’t know how to make A like my mom). So, since I’m jobless, I help my mom to take care of them. I know my mom is tired of taking care of them (plus A doesn’t like her) since they are boys (lasak) and my mom is not strong enough like before. Even I also feel tired emotionally and physically. Imagine almost 7 months, I stay at home without going out to meet my friends or go shopping or calmly see the sky. I only go out when there is an appointment about vaccination. Going back to the story, why my brother did not send them to the nursery? Because my mom is always emphatic with my brother. In April this year, his wife got positive cov. So, he and his kids stay over in my parent’s house (Fyi, during this time I got an offered job but I declined because I was also emphatic with my mom. Who gonna take care of his son when I go to work? My old mom? No, I would rather be tired than my mom tired). Then, my brother got sick like he got a heart problem something like that. So, how is my mom not emphatic with my brother? Tell me! When my mom was emphatic with my brother, she need to take care of his sons, but then he can’t manage a whole day to take care of them because she is tired. I saw her tired face. How can I not be emphatic with my mom?!….. So till now, I became a free babysitter without salary 🙂 hahaha. Now I feel like I hardly manage my emotion because every weekday I will hear my mom argue with A and I repeatedly doing the same routine. I don’t know how to socialize with my friends anymore. I always declined their offer to hang out. Furthermore, I gained weight so I was so ashamed to see them. Even relatives come home and said I gained weight I already feel awful. Why was my family’s life never peaceful? Why man in my family always be pampered? Why is my nephew A being so bad?! Seriously I feel awful, sad and miserable. But, yes. Thank you for this site that I manage to let out all my stories.